I'm Still Yours
by Vulpixels
Summary: Eleanor has finally decided to contact Park again. She sends one single postcard with just three words: I'm still yours. The story begins with her, but switches point of view between them. Rated T to be safe. Enjoy!
1. Chapter 1- Mailbox

**Disclaimer: These marvellous characters are unfortunately not of my own invention. Everything here except from the storyline belongs to the wonderful Rainbow Rowell.**

**Eleanor**

Eleanor stared out of the window, watching a tabby cat play in a puddle of sunlight on the front porch. She had tried so many times to contact him, to explain herself, to apologise, but she couldn't bring herself to write. Every time she formed a sentence in her head, it fell apart on the paper, scattering commas and broken 'I love yous' all over her desk. She threw her pen down in frustration and let the words that wouldn't cooperate escape her, until, with a shaking hand, she pulled together all of the loose threads, all of her feelings and worries and cares together to form one, single sentence. Three short words.

I'm still yours.

And with a mounting feeling of courage, she dropped the postcard into the postbox. That was it- final. What now?

**Park**

Park had stopped checking the mail. He had stopped looking twice every time he saw a girl with red hair. He had stopped waiting for her at the bus stop. He had stopped wondering, stopped wanting, Stopped wishing. But every time he thought he was over her, she just kept coming back, Sometimes not even consciously. He had caught himself staring at her empty desk in English, or saving a seat for her at lunch, then realising-she was gone. His Eleanor was gone. In fact, she wasn't 'his' Eleanor any more. So when he woke up on Saturday morning, in a terrible mood, he had to check he wasn't still dreaming when he caught a glimpse of her scrawly handwriting on a postcard in the mail pile. His mother picked it out carefully and handed it to him, shaking her head.

"I tell you, Park, she come back." Said his mom with a small smile. He took the postcard apprehensively and read it, feeling happier and happier each time he did so. He traced his fingers over the words, thinking. Eleanor. She wrote this, her hand, warm and alive, wrote these words onto this postcard because she was thinking of him. And suddenly, all of his feelings of anger and hurt were pushed away and replaced with hope. When he looked up at his mom, she just nodded her head.

"Don't let her go this time." She said with a knowing stare. He grabbed his keys and ran out of the door.

**A/N: Yes, I am aware that I rewrote the events right at the end of the book. I needed to for the story, but this just fit better. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed- I'm about halfway through the next chapter, so it should be up soon. Sorry this was so short, but it was just a 'taster' of sorts.**

**Until next time, love you all ^_^**

**-Vulpixels **


	2. Chapter 2- Who's There?

The truth is, I wasn't planning on updating this story- I was going to leave it as a one-shot to start a new scorose story (which will hopefully be up soon), but one lovely reviewer left one lovely review, and it made me change my mind about this story. I'm not really sure where this is going to go from here, but stick with me! I'll figure it out soon.

Eleanor

Eleanor was reading in the living room, curled up on her favourite armchair by the window. She loved it because it was just like her-overstuffed. The grandfather clock in the hallway ticked loudly, but it was easy to ignore. After a few hours, the sound of the pendulum swinging from side to side was comforting background noise. The gentle, yet deafening knock cut through the silence of the night, sending her copy of The Great Gatsby tumbling out of her hands, the pages crumpling on the wooden floor. Eleanor rose from her seat, book lying forgotten by the fireplace, and tiptoed to the door. Her heart was skipping beats. She knew it was ridiculous to think that it could be him, that he could still love her after all she'd put him through, but despite Eleanor's protests, her heart simply didn't always agree with her head. She pulled Park's old shirt down over her knees as she reached for the lock, panic setting in. Who would come to her house at 3:30am? When she dared to look through the peephole, she almost fainted. It was him, with his black jeans and honey coloured skin, washed pale in the orange glow of the streetlight overhead. She twisted the lock so hard it should have broken and pulled the door back with such force that it slammed against the wall. Good thing her aunt and uncle weren't home to hear it. The cold night air rushed in through the open door as Park's arms encircled Eleanor, wrapping her in a warm embrace as she shivered. She pulled him inside by the wrist before slamming the door again.

"Park..." She stuttered, still shivering, but not from the cold. He brought a gentle hand to her chin, tilting it to his face as he leaned in towards her, about to kiss her when Eleanor pushed him away. He looked hurt as she stared into his green eyes. "Park, why? Why don't you hate me?" She wriggled from his embrace as she continued to speak. "Why did you come here? To make me feel guilty? To make me question every choice I ever made about us? To make me change my mind about you?" Her shoulders began to shake, but she choked out another sentence. "I was just getting over you Park, just learning to let you go, to accept that I would never love anyone as much as I loved you, and I was almost okay with it. I was almost over you. Do you realise that every time I see your face, it hurts me. It physically hurts me to remember what I had, what was taken from me." She was crying heavily. Park, however, looked almost angry. His green eyes clouded as he spoke quietly.

"Do you think this is a game, Eleanor? I came here because I am in love with you. I _thought_ that you felt the same way. Clearly I was wrong." He turned his face away, the muscles in his jaw tightening as he reached for the lock. "This isn't what I want Eleanor. But I'm doing it for you." His face grew sad. "I'm doing it because I love you. Because it's what you want." And then he left, gone like the snow in spring. Eleanor slumped against the wall, the door blowing in the night air, banging on the wall. She sobbed, her heart twisting with every flash of his beautiful face before her eyes.

"Park..." She called into the night. She stood up as a car's headlights turned on. "Park!" She shouted as loud as she dared. A dog barked in the distance. The quiet hum of the car's engine cut off as Eleanor ran down the steps to her house and into the street, her bare feet hitting the pavement hard. Scanning the street for the familiar car, she tripped over the curb, cutting her knee on the rocky ground. Although she felt the blood trickling down her leg, she carried on running. She had to find him, to apologise to him. Every time something good happened to her, she _always_ messed it up. Now, she was messing it up for the people she loved, too.

When she reached the end of the street, she saw the car. She sprinted towards it, towards the silhouette leaning against it- his inky black hair shone in the dull light of the crescent moon low in the sky.

"Park!" She yelled, no longer caring about waking up her neighbours. His head turned. When she reached him, he turned his head away.

"I can't do this anymore, Eleanor." He said. She could hear in his voice that he was trying not to cry. "I can't stand losing you again." Eleanor reached her hand to his face, pushing some of his hair away from his eyes.

"You don't have to Park. You don't have to." He looked her in the eye, his once perfect eyeliner now smudged. "I was- I am an idiot. I didn't mean it. Park-" he looked at the ground. "Park- look at me. Remember? I'm still yours. _I'm still yours._" She repeated it as she held him in a tight embrace, his chin resting on her head. "I am hopelessly in love with you, Park Sheridan. I'm sorry it meant losing you for me to realise that." He smiled at her.

"So, have you read the new X-men comic?"

A/N: okay, this might seem short to you guys, but it took ages to write and edit myself. I was gonna end it when Park left, but I'm not that cruel! I know Park seems kinda cold in this chapter, but he won't be for the rest. I think he has a right to be pissed! Also, the amazing reviewer that saved this story was angelnephilim14 but thanks also to the anonymous reviewer too ^_^ I'm not sure when the next chapter will be up, but it will be soon, I promise. While I was writing this, I had a few plot ideas.

Until next time!

-Vulpixels


	3. Chapter 3- Kiss Me, I'm Irish

**A/N: Welcome to chapter 3! If you're reading this, thanks for sticking around. I have a very vague idea for this chapter but I will be writing it as I go, and I will probably post my first draft (as usual). I also noticed a few typos in the last chapter which I fixed, but if you spot any, don't hesitate to tell me. Also, thanks Jessedie for listening to my rambling of plot ideas. Sorry I forced E&P upon you, but I think it was a good thing! **

After a hastily scribbled note left on the kitchen counter and a busy five minutes of jumbled packing, Eleanor was sat with Park in the Impala, curled into his side. They weren't driving, or even talking. Just sitting. The only sound was the quiet hum of the heater as it spread it's warmth through the slowly thawing car. Park was staring into space, holding Eleanor's hand. He traced patterns onto her freckled skin, connecting the dots. She was looking at his face, taking him in. In a month, he had grown a lot, but his brother was apparently still taller than him, as Park pointed out sourly when she mentioned it.

"You know, we should probably sleep before we go." Eleanor said with a tired smile. "Driving tired is just as bad as driving drunk." She added, now grinning. Park reached over to pull the seats flat, but Eleanor put her hand on his arm. "Why sleep in a car when my house is around the corner? Come on." As Eleanor got out of the car, Park looked nervous.

"I'd rather sleep here!" He protested.

"Look, Park, it's not like we're going to... _Do_ anything- my aunt won't care, she's not even home! Come on." Park flushed, but took Eleanor's hand and got out of the car.

"Fine, but if I get banned from your house, it's on you." He said jokingly. They walked along the moonlit street, joking with each other. When they reached the empty house, Eleanor stopped.

"You left the door open, El. Really?" Park teased.

"I was... Preoccupied, okay?" She went through the hallway, closing the door behind Park, taking him by the hand and leading him to the living room.

"Stay here!" She ordered, while she rushed to her bedroom. She pulled off Park's shirt, which was now a bit big for her, and pulled on a tank top and shorts. She rushed downstairs, back to Park and handed him his shirt.

"Here." She said with a smile.

"You kept this?" Asked Park, looking amazed. Eleanor nodded, and took his hand.

"Put that on, then shout me and I'll come get you when you're done, okay? You can't sleep in your clothes." She left, closing the door behind her with a soft click. Moments later, she heard Park shout.

"El? Come here!" She pushed open the door to meet him, and nearly fainted.

"It's too small." He handed it back to her. "I've grown a bit." He said, chuckling a little bashfully. She took it in her hand, blushing and staring at the ground, which has suddenly become very interesting. Although she tried, she couldn't quite ignore his muscles. She kept giving him glances, and even though he noticed, he was silent. Instead, he watched her and smirked. She led him through the halls by his hand, until they reached her room.

"I'll take the floor." He offered. She smiled and pulled him onto her bed. He looked conflicted.

"I already told you, it's not like we're going to... You know." She said awkwardly. "Come on. We're just sleeping, Park." She flopped onto the bed with a sigh. He leaned back on the pillows as she buried into his side.

"You're keeping these jeans on?"

He nodded. Even though there were sweatpants in the car, he refused to wear them.

"They're a part of me. I can't take them off!" He said with mock horror. Eleanor could feel his chest rise and fall as he laughed. She pulled up the blanket at the foot of the bed as Park wrapped his arms around her. "Goodnight, El." He said quietly, but she was already asleepp.

In the morning, Eleanor awoke lying on Park. He was still sleeping, his face soft and free of worry. She pushed his hair from his eyes as she watched his chest rise and fall, breathing deeply. His eyes fluttered, but he remained still. Eleanor kissed his neck, and he wriggled, opening his eyes. At first, he looked confused, but then he smiled the widest smile she'd seen in a while.

"It's noon. We should get going." Spoke Eleanor quietly. He groaned and rolled over, pushing Eleanor from him. She fell off if the bed, landing with a thud. "Ow." She complained as she crawled back into the warm blanket cocoon. She heard him laugh softly. "Okay, we'll sleep for a little longer." She finally agreed as she sunk back into the arms of sleep. Needless to say, when they both finally awoke, it was 8pm.

**A/N: hope you enjoyed! I feel like this was short, but it was hard to write! I wanted them to get to Park's house, but this was too cute to miss. There is also something going on with Eleanor. I've only dropped one hint so far, but if you have a guess, let me know! If course, I can neither confirm nor deny these theories, but it would be nice to hear what you think! Who knows? Maybe it will give me an idea? Next chapter will be up soon, hopefully within a few days.**

**Until next time!**

**-Vulpixels**


	4. Chapter 4- Halfway There

**A/N: I will talk at the end instead. Enjoy!**

It was 9:30pm when Eleanor finally got Park out of bed. Of _her_ bed. She was still trying to comprehend that. It was a big step from thinking she'd never see him again. She nudged him with her foot.

"We have to go now." She said, even though she didn't really want to leave herself. Going back to her old house would be tough, especially seeing her family. Although she knew that she shouldn't be angry at her mom, Eleanor couldn't help but think that it was her fault. Why couldn't she just leave him? Why couldn't she tell someone? Did she not care enough for the safety of her kids to stop him? She knew it was irrational. She knew that it wasn't really her mom's fault- but she needed someone to be angry at, someone to blame, because it was too hard to accept that it wasn't anybody's fault. That it was just another thing that nobody could fix. That nobody _would_ fix. So, it was with a heavy heart that she left her aunt's house. Lying behind the locked door, on the kitchen table was a refined version of her scribbled note she had written as she left in a storm of emotions.

_Aunt Hillary and Uncle David,_

_If you're reading this, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I'm not here right now, but I had to go back. I'm with Park. I'm safe. Please, don't worry about me. I'll be back in a few weeks, and will keep in contact. _

_Love Eleanor._

She thought over what she had written again, and couldn't help but think that it wasn't enough- _but there was no time to go back in now _she reminded herself as she heard the grandfather clock chime 10 times from the window left open in the living room. Park pulled her into an unexpected kiss, sending a jolt if electricity through her.

"What was that for?" She said, breathless.

"You looked upset." He replied, smiling softly. She frowned.

"That's because I am." He smirked at her, and pulled her in for another kiss.

"I'm gonna keep this up until you're happy." Said Park, still with a devilish yet still unbelievably sexy smirk on his face.

"Then I'll always be sad." She replied, now smiling.

"You don't look so sad to me. But, I prefer a happy Eleanor, _even_ if it means less kissing."

When they were finally back in the car, it was night again, but they had just woken up, so any previous dangers of sleep driving weren't an issue any more. One of Park's mixtapes was playing, and they drove in comfortable silence. Aside from the music playing softly, it was only the humming of the car as it drove down the empty roads. Occasionally, they would join in, singing the words they knew and la-ing the words they didn't, until the song ended and almost-silence fell inside the impala once again. It wasn't that she didn't want to talk. It was that she didn't need to. Just Park's presence was enough to fill the gaping hole the events of the last few months had created- even if it was only temporary. She hoped that it wasn't. They were still driving when the sun burst through the clouds in the morning, sending orange rays across the sky- but by the time it had risen, they were fast asleep in the impala, pulled over next to a patch of greenery. They slept through the chirping of birds, the pounding rain against the metal roof and the wind howling through the small gaps in the windows. It was noon when they resumed driving, and Park, yawning, denied he was tired.

"We're almost there, El. I can practically smell mom's pancakes."

**A/N: I am British, so don't kill me for any inaccuracies in the time it took to drive there. I don't know where Eleanor lives now, either. Towards the end, I found it difficult to find a good way to end this, but I wanted to get this up soon, because I'm going on a flight now and might not update for a few days because of the lack of wifi where I'm going. However, I can promise that I will update as soon as I can when I'm there. Thanks for sticking with me, and I just want to say, reviews would be appreciated (I know everyone says this, but they mean a lot- especially as this is my first story) and you can review without an account, to the person who asked me. That was a very long message. Sorry. **

**Until next time!**

**-Vulpixels **

**P.S I'm also sorry this was really short, but it was kind of a filler chapter. Things will get interesting in the next one though. Also, if you want to follow me on tumblr, I will post updates and some really cute E&P fanart that I found. You can't put links on here, but my username is chasingvulpixels. Follow me? :3**


	5. Chapter 5- Pancakes

**A/N: Yo. I'll talk at the end, because this is gonna be a short one. Enjoy!**

Sure enough, Park was right. When they arrived, Mindy was making pancakes- even though it was 3 in the afternoon. Park set his keys down on the table in the hallway, the called to his mom. Eleanor still had trouble believing that this was Park's house. The pristine carpet and the lace curtains, all covered in pink. The little glass grapes were the cherry on top. It was practically the opposite of Park. But, Mindy was sweet, even if it took her a while to warm up to Eleanor.

"In the kitchen, Park. Pancakes?" She asked, shouting over the radio playing loudly. Park took Eleanor's hand and pulled her through the doorway. Her expression was reminiscent of a deer caught in the headlights.

"I changed my mind, Park. She hates me! I'm gonna go book in at a motel or something." He sighed, placing his hands on her shoulders.

"She doesn't hate you. She loves you, because she loves me, and _I_ love you. See? It's a huge chain of love. Besides, you don't have any money. Now come on, I missed her cooking." He gave her a quick kiss and then gently pushed her through the door to the kitchen, hand on her back. Something clattered, and he whipped his head around. His mom looked a little shocked, but happy too.

"I was so worried about you, Park! You brought Eleanor, too!" She pulled Eleanor in for a hug. For her size, Mindy was surprisingly strong. She wrapped her arms around Eleanor's waist and clasped her hands at her back. By the time she had finished, it looked like Eleanor was going to pass out from lack of oxygen. Mindy reached up to touch her hair, pushing it back from her face. "You are so pretty Eleanor. You been looking after hair?" Eleanor nodded, whilst trying to politely detangle herself from Mindy. "Pancakes, anyone?" At these words, Josh came thundering down the stairs. The floor practically shook.

"Save me one!" Came Park's dad's voice from the couch.

"Mom, why are you making pancakes right now?" Said Park, looking a little confused. Mindy pointed at Josh.

"What? I wanted breakfast for lunch. I overslept." Josh said defensively. Park just laughed.

"Okay," Park said, still smiling, "I'll have one. El?" Get stomach was rumbling, but she shook her head anyway. "I'm not hungry." She replied.

"Well, more for me!" Josh said cheerily. She smiled, but she couldn't have been more uncomfortable, even if Tina was standing right next to her. Park noticed the disguised grimace on her face and shovelled forkfuls of his food into his mouth quickly before thanking his mom and excusing himself. He motioned for Eleanor to follow him, and soon they were in his room, sat on the floor.

"What is bothering you, El? Is it my mom? I won't be mad if it is." Eleanor shook her head, drawing her knees up to her chest. She sniffed, quietly breaking the silence that had fallen. Park pulled her into his side, rubbing small circles on her back. Soft sobs escaped her, no matter how hard she was trying to keep them locked inside of her. Park was bewildered. He had no idea why she was crying, but he knew better than to ask. He just sat with her while she did, and when she had finished, he pulled her up.

"I can't, Park. I can't go back." She said, rubbing her eyes with her hands. Park shushed her.

"You don't have to, I will, if you want. You can stay here for a few days."

"Really? Thank you, Park. Thank you." She said, now crying again. It was a few hours before she was ready to go back downstairs, but when she did, she choked down half a pancake, still feeling slightly ill.

"Thank you, Mindy." Eleanor said with a syrupy smile. Mindy smiled, but shook her head.

"Why you no eat?" Mindy asked. Eleanor simply explained that she wasn't feeling well, before rushing to the bathroom to throw her pancake up. She spent the night at Park's house, but on the sofa- No sharing a bed here. This, however, did not stop Park from creeping down the stairs to lie beside her. It was surprisingly comfortable, but that did nothing to stop the familiar ache of dread like a knot in her stomach. It was a sleepless night, and the next day would be no easier. She had made up her mind. She was going tomorrow. For her family. She just didn't know how yet.

**A/N: I know that it has been a while. Sorry. I also realise that this chapter was extremely short, but it was really hard to write for some reason. Hopefully it won't take as long to write in the next chapter! Thanks for all of your reviews, too. I haven't had any negative ones yet, but remember, if there's something that's not right, I wouldn't be offended if you pointed it out. That's what reviews are for, right? I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and the next one might not be up for a few days because school is starting again. Sorry. **

**Until next time!**

**-Vulpixels**


	6. Chapter 6- All Alone

Eleanor had been changing her mind all morning. At breakfast, Eleanor stared at her waffles, pushing them around in a pool of syrup on her plate, deep in thought. she was making lists and arguments in her head, trying to convince herself to go, and then talking herself out of it. It was tearing her apart, and it must have shown on the outside, like cracks in her skin as her mask crumbled and her façade dropped, revealing a scared, confused girl who felt more alone than the last leaf on a tree before the snow started to fall. Although she was surrounded by people who loved, or at least tolerated her, the ones who she needed were in danger, and it was all her fault. Why couldn't she have helped them, told someone while she had the chance? Who knows what _he_ had done since she ran away that night. They could be in a foster home, or in a hospital, or even worse. Her siblings could be dead because of her. Richie was unstable, she hoped to God (or whoever was willing to listen) that none of her family had gotten hurt. In a fit of anger, he couldn't be stopped. Eleanor could only imagine the rage he felt when he discovered he was gone. The though of seeing him again made her physically shudder, but the thought of him hurting her family, all because of _her _was unbearable, even to think about. She was going, even if it killed her. Even if it was the last thing she ever did.

By the time they reached the house, Eleanor was calm. She was like a sea, clear and blue on top; underneath, a swirling storm of emotions. She wondered how long it would last before it bubbled to the surface. She climbed out of the impala, slowly and with purpose, slamming the car door behind her. her face was blank as she walked towards the gate. The chain that tethered Tonya to the earth was lying limply in the overgrown grass, rusty and broken. Eleanor could feel the anger rising from her stomach as she thought of Richie. Maybe he would get a pitbull and call it Sabrina after her mom. That was, if she ever built up enough courage to leave him. until then, treating her as if she _was_ that bulldog would have to suffice. When Eleanor reached the door, her heart stuttered. It was open, crooked, and broken, hanging onto the doorframe by a single nail. she gently pushed it forwards, and with apprehension she crept into the living room. the floorboards groaned in protest and she stepped over them. If Richie was here, he was one of three things: drunk, asleep or dead. Eleanor knew which one she was praying for. She knew that it was wrong to wish someone's life away, but after all that he'd done, she couldn't help but want to stop him from doing it again, to another family, to another poor woman who didn't realise the horrible mistake she was making. There were no signs of him here though, aside from the broken beer bottles and scattered playing cards on the worn carpet. she crept towards her old bedroom, not knowing what to hope for as she twisted the door handle and stepped inside, Her bunk was untouched, and on the floor were two old mattresses pushed together, a pile of blankets on top. It smelled like pee, and she turned to leave. Her heart sank when she realised that unless her brothers and sister were hiding in the bathroom, they were gone. Just like her mom, and Tonya and Richie, and her chance of ever seeing her family again. The door squeaked loudly, and she started to leave, but her head snapped back around at the last minute. She could have sworn that she heard a sniff. With one hand, she gently tugged on the bundle of blankets, revealing a mop of hair.  
"Mouse?" a pair of green eyes peeked out from underneath the blue cotton. She felt relief flood her as she stared into her brother's eyes. He, however, only looked angry, and a little sad.  
"You promised. You promised us." he said, his little voice cracking as tears trickled down his face. Eleanor's heart shattered. "You said that you wouldn't leave us, and you did and look what happened?This is all your fault, Eleanor. Mommy's sick, Maisie Ben and Richie Jr. are all in care and I was all alone. I tried to look after myself, but I can't cook like mommy, or wash clothes like mommy, or even tuck myself in like mommy used to." he was in floods of tears at this point, and so was Eleanor. Hearing her crying, Park started towards the house, but then he realised that she would probably feel better if he let her cry. He stood outside anxiously, trying to catch snatches of what she was saying though the open window. "Ben, I'm so, so sorry, but you have to tell me where mommy is. What happened?" Ben cried more heavily as he explained the story, gulping for air between each word as he sobbed loudly.

"Mommy got hurt real bad. She was crying and ambulances came, and Richie ran out of the door. I hid, and then a lady took Ben and Masie and Richie Jr away. I was gonna stop her, but then I would've been taken too! Mommy was bleeding, and she had a weird mask on and she wouldn't answer me. They took mommy away too, and then I was left all alone. It was scary."

"Oh, Mouse, I am so sorry. Come here." she pulled him in for a hug as he sniffles against her black top. She pressed her face into his soft hair, holding him tight. "I will never, ever leave again. I promise. And I mean it this time."


	7. Chapter 7- Questions

**A/N: Yo. It's been a while. I know that I left you guys with a teeny bit of a cliffy last time, and I have a feeling you might hate this chapter for a similar reason. However, rest assured that all of your questions will be answered by the next chapter. So, my dear readers, enjoy! (P.S. If you want to make me happy, review! I don't usually mention this, but I just want you to know, I think you guys are really sweet and I love you all.)**

Park was waiting outside of the front door when Eleanor returned, red-eyed and trailing a scrawny boy behind her. She was silent when she got into the car, but Park pulled her close and gave her a bone-crushing hug. She smiled, but she had a small crease of worry between her eyebrows. He knew better than to ask straight away, so he locked his nosy thoughts in the back of his mind. The curiosity burned, but Eleanor definitely didn't need his stupid questions right now. She must have noticed the look on his face, because she stared him in the eye and murmured 'later', looking worried and a little sad. This was enough for Park right now, but it didn't stop the worry from working its way through his mind, weaving around his thoughts like a weed. He drove back to his house quickly, he thought she would want to get her brother back to a warm, safe, clean place for a little while. When they pulled up, however, Eleanor told him to keep driving. She didn't say where to, although every so often she would tell him to turn right here, or go straight on. This annoyed park to no end, there were enough questions he had running through his mind and he tried to figure out where they were going. He was over halfway there before he realised where he was driving, and his heart almost stopped. Were they going to the hospital? He allowed himself to ask her one thing.  
"Eleanor," Park said cautiously. She didn't respond. "Are we going to the hospital?" she blinked, and a fat tear rolled down her cheek, but she continued to stare out of the window at the blur of cars as they whooshed past. Mouse was asleep on the backseat, and Eleanor looked back to check on him before replying.  
"Yes."  
"Okay." Park responded quietly. He pulled over, and took her face in his hands. "Eleanor, You know that I will love you no matter what has happened, and I'll be there for you through everything. _Everything."_ And then she kissed him. Softly, at first but it grew more passionate as the car windows steamed up. Park groaned loudly. A small cough came from the back seat, and Eleanor jumped up so high that she nearly hit her head on the roof. She flushed, remembering her little brother's presence. Park pulled away and drove quickly, wanting to be out of this car as quickly as possible, his face growing red.

When they arrived at the hospital, the mood quickly changed from awkward to sombre. It rained harder, almost as if the weather was affected by Eleanor's mood. She hopped out of the car, slamming the door and hurried to the sheltered entrance of the hospital. Park, tugging a bewildered Mouse along by the hand, struggled to keep up. As they fell through the doorway, their shoes squeaking on the linoleum floors, Park ended up carrying Mouse as he fell asleep in his arms. He was grateful when the reached some chairs to put him in. Eleanor, her hair hanging in wet locks and her clothes wrinkled and soaking, rushed to the front desk. The poor secretary looked a little overwhelmed, but she tried to help as much as she could. She knew it was urgent, judging from the look on her face and Eleanor's frantic tone. At this moment, Park saw everything Eleanor had tried to hide from him, all of the emotions, the fear, the pain, the anger as her mask crumbled and the storm surfaced. When a nurse left to find out what (or who) Eleanor was searching for, Eleanor stumbled into Park's open arms. She sobbed against his chest as he hugged her close to him. She hiccuped and sniffed, forcing her tears away when a sleepy Mouse started to stir. He rubbed his eyes and sat up, only for his head to fall back onto the seat again a few moments later. He mustn't have slept since the _incident_, whatever that may be. Park was still in the dark about what had happened, and who they ere here to see. However, when the nurse returned, a sad smile on her face, all of his questions were answered. All of his worst fears were confirmed. The exact words that he didn't want to hear reached his ears and worked into his mind.

"Eleanor, I'm afraid I have some bad news."

**A/N: I know, I know. Hate me. I'm sorry!**


	8. Chapter 8- Guilty

"I'm afraid I have some bad news."

No. No, no, no. Eleanor tried to convince herself that it wasn't happening, that she was dreaming, anything but this. She felt Park stiffen beside her as he heard the words himself. Eleanor knew what the nurse was going to say next, but she didn't want to hear it. That would mean it was true. It would mean that her mom was really dead. And it was all her fault. She braced herself as the nurse took in a breath, about to speak. To Eleanor, it felt like it was in slow motion.  
"Your mom, she's not doing very well. She's in intensive care, and she is not responding. I'm sorry to say this, but she's in a coma. We don't know if she will wake up. It's unlikely." The nurse said, as kindly as possible. All Eleanor felt was relief. She knew that she should be sad, but at least her mom was alive. There was a chance, however small, that Eleanor could see her brown eyes open again. That was enough. After the instant relief wore off however, the pain of reality pulled her to the ground with such force that she felt her head spin. She imagined that the horrible guilt, the pain that she had felt over the last few weeks felt something like grief- Except she hadn't lost anyone. Yet.  
"What happened?" The words came out of her mouth before she could stop them. She didn't want to know what horrible things had happened to her mother, but she asked anyway. It was, Eleanor supposed, a form of punishing herself. The nurse grimaced when she heard her question, but she answered it nonetheless.  
"She was beaten. Then, judging from the marks on her neck, strangled. The real damage comes from the bullet wound, though. She was lucky that it didn't go through her. She could have died from blood loss. Fortunately, it stayed lodged inside of her, stopping the blood flow." Eleanor sat in a stunned silence. Park wrapped his arms around her, but she didn't respond.  
"Can I see her?" She asked, her voice quivering.  
"That wouldn't be best, not in her current condition. Go home, get some rest, and come back tomorrow." Eleanor just nodded, picking up her little brother gently. They left the hospital in silence, holding hands as they exited through the automatic doors. When they got in the car, Eleanor stared out of the window the whole way home. her eyes were shining, but not a tear spilled over. It was not until she was in Park's bedroom, tucked away under a blanket, lying next to him, that she finally allowed herself to cry. That night, Mindy didn't make a fuss about them sleeping together. Mouse was sprawled on the sofa, and Eleanor was curled up beside Park as he dreamt. She woke up every few hours and crept down to check on her little brother, but he was still sleeping peacefully. When she went back up to bed, Park was awake, sitting up in bed.  
"Eleanor?" He whispered, his voice croaky and his thoughts clouded by the drowsiness he felt upon waking. She burrowed back under the covers as she whispered back.  
"I'm here, Park." He smiled, but in the darkness, Eleanor only saw him move a little. The next thing she knew, his arms were wrapped around her. She smiled too. They soon fell asleep, wrapped up in each other, a tangle of limbs and sheets, but this time, Eleanor didn't wake up.

When morning finally arrived, Eleanor's small piece of happiness from last night was buried deep beneath a jumbled collection of worries and fears.  
"Park. Park, are you awake?" She said, shaking him gently.  
"Yes, El."  
"I... I don't want to go." she said, guilt plain in her voice.  
"That's okay, El. I understand. We can go tomorrow. We'll spend all of today right here."  
"But what about Mouse?" She asked, still not entirely convinced that leaving her mom alone in the hospital was the best thing to do. But she was selfish. She couldn't bear seeing her mother, lying in a bed, hooked up to numerous tubes and monitors, knowing that she was the one that had put her there? She didn't pull the trigger, but she set off a chain reaction. She might as well have been the one behind the gun.  
"If you want, I can get mom to take him out. We'll have the house all to ourselves. Just for a day, until we go and visit your mom tomorrow, when you're ready." Eleanor thought about this, the idea sounding better and better until she finally responded. With just one word.  
"Okay."

**A/N: I wanted to add some fluff in, so I figured this would be the best way to do it. It'll give you guys something to look forward to. I know, this is really short again, but I have stuff to do. Mainly school-related stuff (the bane of my life) but I'll always try to make time for you guys. Enjoy!**


	9. Chapter 9- Fortune Cookies

**A/N: Look who's back from their temporary vacation with fictional characters in a post apocalyptic world? Hello friends! (I say 'friends' because I am hoping to god that you haven't gathered together your pitchforks and torches yet. Please don't kill me.) It has been a while, I know. Sorry. But I have been having some intense Ellie/Riley feels recently, and also I am having a whale of a time writing my newest fic. So, this one was kind of on the back burner for a while. It's okay though, I'll make this chapter extra long to make up for it. Because I love you guys. Now put those damn pitchforks down and get reading, folks because it's time for the long awaited chapter nine!**

"Breakfast?" Said Park, nudging Eleanor with his toe. She was reading, her hair spilling over the page and onto the floor like red ink. Eleanor shrugged, not looking up from her book. Park got up, walked into the kitchen, opened the fridge and grinned like the cheshire cat when he saw the wonders awaiting him in the form of leftover Chinese takeout. Josh was going to kill him for eating his food, but at this moment, Park simply did not care. There were two fortune cookies sitting on top of a box of crispy duck, and he grabbed them, shutting the fridge with a sense of victory.  
"Fortune cookie?" He asked Eleanor, waling back into the living room. She nodded, and he tossed her one. She didn't catch it, it hit her on the nose and landed in her lap. Park chuckled while Eleanor sulked a little, but she perked up when Park plopped down onto the sofa beside her. He cracked his open, snorting at his fortune.  
"What does it say?" Eleanor asked curiously.  
"Buy more Chinese food. Yours?"  
"You will be successful in love. Good to know." Park picked up the phone. "What are you doing?" said Eleanor. Park grinned and replied.  
"Ordering more Chinese food. Who am I to mess with fate?"

Their bellies full of delicious (albeit unhealthy) food, they lay together on the sofa. Eleanor's head was on Park's chest, and she was snoring quietly. Park was awake, but only just. He was running his fingers through her curls, his eyelids growing heavy as he entered what Josh liked to call a 'food coma.' Eleanor stirred a little, burying her face into his shirt, inhaling deeply. She lifted her head slowly.  
"Park?" she said groggily?  
"Yes?" he replied, the fogginess of sleep clouding his thoughts.  
"I don't think I've ever told you."  
"Told me what?"  
"How much I love you." She said, listening to the steady beat of his heart. "And how much you mean to me. You... you're like my rock. My anchor. I'm like a kite. Without you, I couldn't fly."  
"Eleanor?"  
"Hmmm?" she replied.  
"Have you been reading poetry again?" she frowned a little. He laughed softly at her response. Eleanor could feel his chest vibrating against her cheek as he did so. "I love you too." he said, planting a kiss on her forehead. "We'd better get up, before my mom comes home and sees us like this. She'll tell me we should've waited until dinner to eat."

It was almost 3:30 when they had finally cleaned up and disposed of any evidence of Chinese food, and they were back to sitting on the couch. Well, maybe a _bit_ more than just sitting. The T.V was blaring in the background, the colours bright, flashing on their skin as they kissed but there was no sound. Eleanor's hands roamed up Park's shirt, running them over his muscles as she pushed her lips against his. His hands were tangled in her curls, pulling her closer to him. They had been tangled together for what seemed like hours, pressing their bodies so close that they were almost one. When Eleanor finally broke away, her hair was messy, her lips swollen and her usually pale face was filled with colour. _In other words,_ Park thought,_ she was beautiful. _They were both breathing heavily, Eleanor still sitting in Park's lap when the door swung open. They leapt apart, but it was only Josh. He gave a smirk as he walked past them, winking at Park. Park threw a cushion at his head. Josh soon got the idea and left. The door shut with a soft click behind him, and Park knew what was coming next. The fridge door swung open, bottles inside rattling.  
"Park!"

**A/N: This chapter was kind of hard to write for some reason, I just had no ideas, so it is shorter than I originally intended. But I'll get the next one up when I can. Also, just a quick side not, if you review as a guest, I can't reply/answer your questions. I would if I could though! So to the person who asked when I'd be back, I'm back now. If you hadn't gathered that already. Hope it wasn't too much of a wait for you guys. Sorry again!**

**Until next time!  
-Vulpixels ^_^**


	10. Chapter 10- Condensation

"We have to go today, Eleanor. You know we do." Park said to her as Eleanor pushed her face deeper into the pillow.  
"I know." Her voice was muffled by the white fabric but he could hear it shaking as she spoke. He didn't say anything- instead he just reached out to her, placing a gentle hand on her shoulders. She turned to face him at his touch, her brown eyes huge and pleading.  
"I can't do it, Park." She said, looking up into his face.  
"We have to. You'll hate yourself even more if we don't go." She didn't respond, only turning her head back into the pillow.  
"I know."  
"Come on." Park said, shaking her shoulder and pulling her up from the nest of blankets. She didn't protest. She felt a sort of emptiness that was almost worse than the grief that was sure to come. Eleanor was trying to distance herself from her mother, but knowing that the end was coming soon only made it worse. She felt guilt constantly, always conflicted. She couldn't even think about her siblings. Mouse was still staying here, but soon social services would come and take him away, too. She would be alone again. She got up, not bothering to brush her unruly red curls or rub the tears from her face. The stairs creaked as she trudged down them, pulling on her coat, Park following behind her quietly. He was trying his hardest to reach out to her, but she just wasn't responding. He almost understood, but Eleanor bitterly reflected that he wouldn't know this kind of emotion for years to come. There was a rift between them, growing wider with each passing second, no matter how hard they tried to pretend that it wasn't happening. Sometimes it worked, the huge, gaping hole closing up so that they were merely paces apart. It didn't last, though. Eleanor would be half way across the gap, and she'd fall straight through the ground. Those were the bad days. The good days were few and far between- it takes more than a few planks of wood to build a bridge, and that was all Park could offer. She felt so isolated, so angry and sad that she didn't feel anything anymore. She didn't live. She simply _existed_. She was just there, like the stars are, or the moon. Constantly in the darkness. She remained trapped in the spiral of morbid thoughts the whole way to the hospital, and the car was filled with a chilly silence between them that was unusual, even of late. Eleanor supposed that Park was finally losing interest in her after chasing her for so long. _You always want what you can't have._ The words echoed in her head like the lyrics to an old, forgotten song that she used to like. She imagined Park angry, hateful towards her in spite of herself. It was almost like a form of punishment- the guilt was eating away at her again. If only she hadn't left. If only. There was no time left to dwell on the _if's _when the _but's_ were so demanding, but she couldn't help but allow her thoughts to linger on the questions for one moment. The engine shut off, the hum of the heater slowly fading as the car creaked and cooled down in the parking lot. Eleanor looked away from the raindrop she was following as it raced down the window when Park gently placed his hand in hers. She stared at their hands, intertwined in her lap, comforted by the warmth and familiarity of his hand in hers. She still loved him, whether she showed it or not. She held on tighter while he traced small circles on the back of her hand. She couldn't bring herself to look at him, so instead she focused on connecting the smattering of freckles across her arms with an imaginary line. She became absorbed in the pointless task she gave herself to occupy her mind, and soon the tears threatening to spill over vanished, and she was able to meet his gaze. His green eyes searched hers, and without warning, their lips met in a quick, passionate kiss. Eleanor could almost feel the metaphorical gap she'd imagined between them closing. Although it was all in her head, Park could feel some kind of change within her, and her kissed her harder, their cheeks flushed and their breaths becoming shorter. There was an urgency to the kiss that she'd never felt before, like it was the night she left all over again- but this time, it was a _good_ kind of urgency. The windows were misty with condensation as she tugged Park's jacket off. Her hands began exploring his body, up his shirt, running her hands through his hair as she pulled him closer. She knew what she wanted.  
"Eleanor." Park said breathlessly.  
"What?" She asked, a small smile playing across her lips.  
"We... I can't, El."  
"I know." She said, kissing him softly. "Park?"  
"Mmmm?" He mumbled, tugging his jacket back on.  
"I love you." He smiled.  
"I love you too."

And just like that, the cracks closed up.

**A/N: It's not a very long chapter, but I'm baaaaack! I know some of you guys probably wanted this to be a little more... _sour._ But I can't write that stuff. Sorry. Maybe one day, don't get discouraged. I also really don't want to write the hospital chapter, if you can tell, because it's probably gonna be hard to write without crying or something, but it's coming. I hope you enjoyed this chapter as much as I loved writing it, and I'll see you soon- either in I'm Not A Kid or in the next chapter of this story. Until next time!  
-Vulpixels ^_^ **

**P.S. If you're reading this, I love you extra extra lots. Thanks for sticking with this story through the break. Ily 3 (especially you, Niamhy, my almost beta.)**


End file.
